Commitment Takes Work: On My Lessons From Dating

I recently got out of a relationship.

But this post isn’t about how it ended or how I’m doing (although there is one in the works). No, this is a post about how I do not regret dating who I did, how long it lasted, and how it impacted me.

This is a post sharing about what I learned and how I have grown. So let’s get started.

Things I learned:

  1. It isn’t about me, even when I want it to be. When single, I loved doing what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted it. But when dating, I had to factor in another person’s wants, desires + needs, so it was more than just me, myself, and I.
  2. Caring for another person can be hard. Months ago at the middle of our relationship, I spent an entire day moping around my apartment and throwing up, curled up into the fetal position. Lo and behold, the B.F. (boyfriend) came over, sat beside me and patted my back, even though I dramatized my seemingly imminent death.
  3. We all make sacrifices. One Saturday, we drove to Austin to go to a party with his friends. The party ran late and I became grumpy and exhausted, but stayed (for most of it), because I knew it was important to him. The next day, we drove back to Dallas to move myself out of my old apartment in the ‘burbs and into my new one in Dallas proper. He was (probably grumpy) and definitely exhausted, but he stayed and helped out because he is a kind person…and we all make sacrifices.
  4. Commitment takes work. Sometimes being in a relationship isn’t easy and sometimes it’s not even fun, but it can be a challenging, yet wonderful surprise and journey!!

So yeah, I learned a lot.

It was hard to sum it up into just four points and there was plenty I learned that I didn’t mention.

Everything can be a learning opportunity, and our relationship certainly was. Even though the breakup has not been easy or fun, I am so grateful for the relationship we shared and the takeaways I now have.

I don’t look back on our relationship with bitterness or negativity, but instead with gratitude and peace. It was good while it lasted, it was exactly what I needed in the life phase I was in, and now I can onward go with these lessons in hand.

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