I quit my job this week.
It was really hard. I almost cried. It was really hard because I so wanted this job to be THE job for me. The favorite, the best, the most life-giving job. I almost cried because it wasn’t any of those things, not even close.
It was a big decision, a tough decision, but the right decision for me.
It wasn’t like in the movies where my boss did one thing that pushed me over the edge, I called her a bad word, threw paperwork into her face and stormed out.
It was like how it happens in real-life: over a period of time, over lots of thoughts and prayers, over lots of sleepless nights wondering if this is really the right, the wise, the best decision for me. (It was).
So why did I do it?
You’re probably wondering. What was so bad, so wrong, so awful that I walked away from a decent position with a decent pay in a career field I would like to pursue?
Quite simply put: I did it for myself and I did it for my dreams.
I did it for myself: for my mental and emotional health and wellness. I did it because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I did it because I would leave work every day feeling drained and down and not wanting to do a single thing.
I did it for my dreams: because I want to be an attorney, because I will be an attorney one day. Because I wasn’t taking enough time to myself to sit calmly, think rationally and dream big. Because I couldn’t prioritize dream-chasing over performing my job duties.
The future is grey and blurry.
I really thought I would be going directly from this job into law school. I really thought I could balance it all, do it all. But I can’t and I won’t.
Thankfully, The Lord provided a great job for me just in the nick of time. Thankfully, I will have more time to myself for dreaming and doing. Thankfully, even though my pay will be less, my overall wellness will be greater.
I’m looking forward to this next chapter — I’m nervous, but ready! I can’t wait to see how this will all pan out. I can’t wait to see firsthand how this really was the best decision for me.
Sometimes, we have to be brave. We have to be courageous. We have to say “no” to big opportunities and say “yes” to our well-being.
Even though it may be tough, bravery is worth pursuing, worth acting upon and seeing through.