I Don’t Have It All Together

“You have it all together.”

That’s what my sweet friend Jessie told me. I physically laughed out loud, “No, trust me, I don’t.”

Though these words are so kind, they’re utterly false. Let me share ways I do not have it together:

  1. I use dry shampoo more than I wash my hair.
  2. I don’t do any form of cardio.
  3. I get my dad to change the oil in my car.
  4. I still rely on my mom for home cooked meals.
  5. I can’t roll my “r’s” and I’m convinced I never will.

No one knows what they’re doing.

I used to think I would be put together once I could drive a car at 16, or a legal adult at 18, or graduated college at 21. But each year came and went and I was just as disheveled as the one before.

The older (and at times wiser) I become, the more I realize no one knows what they’re doing. We are all trying to fake it until we make it. We just try to pay our bills on time and shower an appropriate amount.

Even people who look like they have it together don’t.

As my friend Richie’s mom says, “We all have our crosses to bear and dresses to wear.” Behind the vacation photos and Instagram-worthy meals are diagnoses and heartbreaks and tragedies. Sometimes social media serves as a smokescreen to hide the struggles underneath.

Let’s work together.

Instead of building idols of each other in our minds, let’s build each other up as friends. Instead of glorifying looks, let’s value transparency and honesty. Instead of acting like we have it all together, let’s admit we don’t — and that’s OK.


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