So I met a guy.
He came out of nowhere, it was so unexpected — which is what all of my married friends say, “He will come when you least expect it.”
*Insert eye roll here.*
He was this humble, kind stranger. Then he quickly became a humble, kind friend.
When I am selfish and unkind, he gives grace. When I am exhausted and discouraged, he lifts my spirits. When I am worried and afraid, he calms me.
He has a knack of pointing me to Jesus, of reminding me he will always be our standard. He has a wonderful habit of treating me far better than I deserve. His selflessness and generosity are absolutely exquisite.
But now’s not the time.
I want to be a hopeless romantic. I want to shout my like from the mountains and hold a press conference for my friends.
I want to remember every glance and every laugh and every nudge between us. I want to cherish these moments, place them on a shelf in the back of my mind, save them for a rainy day.
But I won’t be a hopeless romantic, I won’t do those things they tend to do. Not because I do not want to, but simply because I don’t think I’m supposed to.
I think I’m supposed to just be.
God hasn’t moved mountains or split seas. He hasn’t shined a light or sent whispers on the wind. He hasn’t woken me in the middle of the night or delivered an angel named Gabriel.
It would be nice if God did those things. I would love to recognize an explicit blessing from Him. But He has not given and I have not received, so here I am — just being.
So now’s not the time, and maybe the time will never come.
For now, I chug along, savor these moments and thank Jesus for the blessing of his friendship. I trust that should the time come, God will ask me to pick it back up. He’ll soften me to these feelings, He’ll nudge me toward His timing. He’ll keep His promise to be good to me at all times — which He always does, regardless of my relationship status.
God’s timeline very rarely matches my own.
It takes tuning myself to His will and aligning my heart’s desires with The Spirit’s. It requires kneeling before Him in humility and petitioning, “Dear Jesus, please remind me of your goodness. Let me succumb my wants to your will, your timing. Let me place all of my trust in your plan and know you keep your promises.”
It isn’t what I want, but it’s always what I need. It isn’t fun, but it’s always good for me. It isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it.